jeudi 28 juin 2007

5 seconds.

For some people it does not take much to generate humour. Just five seconds of video footage, add some great music and that's it. No dialogue, no special effects, nothing. Just 5 seconds, and you make thousands and thousands of people laugh. That's pure genius.

Drama Prairie Dog

mercredi 20 juin 2007

Music day Fete de la musique

Today is the first day of the summer, but it is also music day in France. Bands of all kinds get out in the streets and play music. The streets are crowded, and everybody dances and has fun. Sometimes people get too drunk, which can be annoying, but mostly it's party and fun.

Wouldn't that be cool if they had it in America too? There is some serious potential there, man!

mardi 19 juin 2007

Les USA: The beach

The other day I was thinking about a vocabulary book I used when I was a student. It contains lists of words, and they're classified according to big categories, such as"the family," "the countryside," "at work," etc. It made me think that I could do the same with my blog, and talk about America, using such categories for each new entry.

Since I went to the beach yesterday, I'll start with that.

The beach I went to was in Virginia Beach. Virginia Beach is a resort town, with hotels and apartments along the shore. There is also a an alley where you can walk or ride one of the many bikes for rent there. The handle bars on those bikes look funny, their shape reminds me of what you find on Harley-davidson motorcycles.
I heard a lot of locals saying that they didn't like the beach there, probably because it is too touristy for them, and the abundance of hotels, apartments and shops don't make for an authentic and natural experience. Presonally, I don't mind it.
The sand is a bit clearer than on the Mediterranean, and I believe the water is a bit less salty, for my skin didn't feel as sticky when I got out of the water, which was nice. The waves were very enjoyable, although I expected them to be bigger than they were, since my wife had stressed the difference with the Meditterranean sea so much in the past.
Although the beach is huge, people don't seem to take advantage of all the available space, and prefer to sit as close to the water as they can, so that the first half near the ocean is packed, and the area behind is practically empty.
At some point I used the porta potty that was near the alley. I wouldn't have mentioned this, but after reading so many blogs from American expats talking about how nasty the French public bathrooms are, I was surprised to find the most disgusting bathroom I had ever seen in my life here. I know, I know, there are porta potties in France too, I'm just really surprised that in such a clean and superior nation as the US, they are in use too. Ethnocentric expats, this bit was for you.

There are a lot of life guards, they sit in their little wooded elevated chairs and keep their red life saving rafts nearby, just like in Baywatch. That's funny too. Every 30 seconds, they whistle because someone swam too far away in the water.
Women don't go topless, as everybody knows, but that's okay with me. The only ones who do it in France are ugly anyway. Since women can't take their tops off here, some will compensate by wearing tops that are too small for their breasts, so you can see it anyway. In fact, unlike what a lot of people think, breasts are okay in the U.S.A. Really, it's the nipples that will get you into trouble.
The men's swimsuits look like shorts. Like in France, maybe a bit longer (although I hear the tight speedos are making a come-back and are being trendy again in Europe. I did see one guy wearing one in Virginia beach though.)

After the beach we went to a restaurant where we ate crabs. I heard Maryland is THE state to go to if you want crab, but Virginia's crabs were tasty as well.

Hier je suis alle a la plage a Virginia Beach, une station balneaire, avec ses apparts en bords de plage, ses commerces et tout le toutim. Il y a une promenade en bord de plage ou l'on peut louer des velos ou des rollers. Les velos sont marrants, ils ont des guidons un peu comme des guidons de Harleys.
J'ai entendu pas mal de gens du coin dire qu'ils n'aiment pas trop la plage ici car cela manque d'authenticite et c'est devenu trop touristique. Cela me fait exactement penser a ce que qu'en France certains reprochent a la Grande Motte et ses pyramides.
Le sable est plus clair qu'a la Mediterranee, et l'eau semble moins salee. C'est tant mieux, cela gratte moins quand on sort de l'eau.
Les vagues sont plus grosses qu'a Palavas, et c'est beaucoup plus amusant comme ca. Ceci dit, elles n'etaient pas aussi grosses que ce que ma femme avait bien voulu me faire croire. Ou alors, elles etaient en petite forme ce jour-la.
Les femmes ne font pas les seins nus, mais je ne vous apprends rien de nouveau ici. Et d'ailleurs, je m'en fous un peu. Celles qui osent enlever le haut en France portent bien souvent des poitrines sur lesquelles nos yeux n'ont aucune raison de s'attarder. Les americaines en mal d'exhibitionnisme rattrapent le coup en achetant des maillots trops petits de toute facon. Les seins, c'est pas ca le probleme. Le principal, c'est surtout de cacher les tetons.
La plage est immense, mais les gens , venus en nombre, preferent s'agglutiner tout pres de l'eau, laissant un grand espace vide derriere eux.
Les hommes, eux, portent des maillots similaires a ce que l'on voit sur les plages francaises, peut etre sont-ils un peu plus longs, allant parfois sous les genoux. Il parait que les petits shorts moule-burnes font un grand retour en France. Ce n'est pas le cas ici, meme si j'ai pu en apercevoir un exemplaire. Un courageux.
J'ai fait un detour dans des toilettes publiques, et a ma grande surprise, j'ai du faire mes besoins dans les chiottes les plus degueulasses que j'aie pu voir. J'ai vraiment ete decu. D'habitude, ce sont les etrangers qui sont sales. Peut-etre etaient-ils reserves aqux immigrants,,. Eh oui cher(e)s expats ethnocentriques et compagnie, regalez-vous, cette fleche est pour vous.

Apres la plage, nous avons file vers un restau la faim au ventre. Nous y avons savoure de delicieux crabes en terrace dans un cadre tres calme, dans la baie, au loin de la plage. Ce fut une belle journee.

samedi 16 juin 2007

Legislatives, blogs et chaussettes.

C'est la veille des legislatives, et tout le monde s'en fout. C'est vrai que c'est pas vraiment rigolo, puisqu'on sait d'avance qui va gagner. Pas de match serre, une opposition faible, meme pas de scandale d'alliances avec le FN. C'est d'un chiant cette annee! Ah, si, il nous reste les affaires internes du PS pour nous divertir, mais bon cela fait un bien maigre repas a se mettre sous la dent. Bref, les legislatives 2007, c'est pas un bon cru. La presidentielle, c'etait mieux. Il y avait un peu plus de suspense.

Pour parler de choses plus importantes, je vais parler de moi, un peu. Ben oui, apres tout un blog, c'est fait pour ca, non? On se croit important, on croit qu'on a des choses a dire, alors on veut les dire en public. Bien sur, on ne s'apercoit pas qu'on ne fait en realite que debliterer connerie sur connerie, mais c'est pas grave, il y a toujours des bonnes ames pour laisser des commentaires sympathiques. Ce qui, du coup, flatte encore plus l'ego et encourage a ecrire des enormites encore plus grotesques. Je le sais, j'en lis tous les jours.
Et c'est vrai que l'internet, malgre tout le bien qu'on en dit, c'est quand-meme aussi le grand revelateur de la connerie humaine, vous ne trouvez pas? Qu'est-ce qu'on peut entendre comme conneries sur les blogs et autres forums! Internet, c'est un peu comme une gigantesque discussion de comptoir.
Mais je divague, et j'en oublie que j'ai fait la promesse de parler de moi.
En effet, voyez vous que je suis devenu reticent a l'idee de porter des chaussettes basses. Vous savez, celles qui n'arrivent meme pas au niveau des chevilles, et donnent l'illusion que l'on ne porte pas de chaussettes. C'est devenu le must, et quiconque ose porter des chaussettes qui montent au dessus des chevilles s'auto condamne aux plus grandes humiliations publiques. Comme tout le monde, avant je detestais les chaussettes hautes, en particulier quand je portais des shorts. Alors je me suis mis a porter des soquettes, qui sont devenues de plus en plus basses. Puis un jour, je me suis apercu que je ressemblais a une soccer-mom. Alors je me suis remis a porter des chaussettes hautes.
Vous voyez, je vous l'avais bien dit qu'un blog c'etait con!

vendredi 15 juin 2007

phonemes and stuff

I have noticed that some people in America tend to pronounce certain words a little more different than others, and I am not talking about regional accents here. For example, the "s" sound in "last" sometimes sounds more like sh, as "in last year," where the word "last" sounds closer to this: /l a: S t /
Same phenomenon in words like "marzipan", where the /z/ sound (as in "zoo") becomes the sound /Z/ as in "vision."
Have you noticed a difference too?


dimanche 10 juin 2007

Fier d'etre Francais

Vous etes fiers de votre pays, vous? Moi non. Le fait que je sois francais est le fruit du plus grand des hasards. Si il y a bien un truc que je n'ai pas choisi dans ma vie, c'est mon pays. Pour reprendre l'expression du genialissime George Carlin, c'est arrive par accident. Pas de quoi pavoiser.
A la limite, les seules personnes qui peuvent etre fieres de leur nationalite sont les immigres qui, a force de volonte, de courage et de sacrifices, sont parvenus a gagner leur nouvelle citoyennete. Ceux-la je leur dis chapeau. Les autres, pfff, au mieux des bandes de grosses faignasses .
Donc, non, je ne suis pas fier d'etre Francais. C'est juste un truc qui m'est tombe dessus quand j'etais ne.
Cela ne veut bien evidemment pas dire que je n'aime pas ce pays (oui, je vois venir les patriotes avec leurs gros sabots). Simplement, j'evite de me flatter l'ego avec des trucs completement arbitraires.

jeudi 7 juin 2007

hot tennis players

A while ago, my wife told me that tennis is the sport that has the hottest competitors. At least for the males. Maybe that explains why she liked watching the French open so much. And it's true that those Moya, Nadal, Federer, Haas, Grosjean, Blake, I mean, yeah, they're all pretty sexy.
With players such as Sharapova and Ivanovic, who're playing against each other at the French Open as I'm writing this, I think we can say that women in tennis aren't bad either.
If you're not convinced, check out this funny video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DPrFQZnXpOY

Il y a un petit moment de cela, ma chere epouse m'a gentiment fait remarquer que les joueurs de tennis sont les sportifs les plus sexys. Le hommes. Ceci explique sans doute pourquoi elle adore regarder Roland Garros a la tele. C'est dur, mais bon, on ne peut nier le physique avantageux d'un Nadal, Moya, Federer, Grosjean, Blake, Haas, et j'en oublie.
Chez les femmes, apres Kournikova, la nouvelle generation a son mot a dire, avec des joueuses comme Sharapova et Ivanovic, qui viennent viennent de disputer la demi-finale.
Jetez donc un coup d'oeil a cette video plutot amusante:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DPrFQZnXpOY

lundi 4 juin 2007

tagged

Damn, I've been tagged! Now I must talk about my favorite restaurants in Norfolk, Va. The problem is that the person who tagged me is my wife, and we kind of go to the same restaurants...Alright, since I'm in a good mood I'll make the effort.
I will add Chicho's to the list. XXL pizza for 5 bucks plus pitchers of beer for 2 bucks on Sundays. Can't beat that.
They say Hooters has good food but my wife won't let me go there. I don't know why.
There is a Mongolian restaurant at Military circle, it's not bad.
And there is a restaurant by the bay, downtown (near hooters actually) where I had a good time. Pretty greasy though. Can't remember the name.
I liked the Cheesecake Factory in Virginia Beach. I don't remember the food, but the restaurant was nice inside.
There are a bunch of cool restaurants in Ghent. Ghent is a charming little artsy part of town where students, hippies, yuppies and bobos like to congregate. It is a nice and friendly neighborhood with lots of little restaurants with terraces on the street where you can eat American or international food. You see lots of interesting people there, except for minorities.

That's about all I can think of. I have eaten well in all the restaurants I've been to here so far, but I have yet to be really impressed. Let's say I'll let myself be impressed by restaurants when I'm rich and can afford luxurious restaurants, how about that? I could talk about restaurants in other parts of the US that I've enjoyed a lot more, but that's not part of the assignment, so I'll keep it for myself.
Now, I don't really know if this blog is ever read by anyone, so I can't really tag anybody. Wait, maybe there's that one person who left a couple of comments to defend ugly frosty, but I guess I will invite whoever has a blog and happens to read my crap to write about their favorite restaurants. Or not, screw it. You can talk about whatever you want, why should I tell you what you should write about anyway?

Commercial break

Commercials are rarely something we like to watch (and really, if you do, I am sorry for you). So, usually, they occur just before a program, because you're basically waiting for the program to start, so you watch the damn commercials. They also like to insert commercials at a critical moment during a movie, when we really want to know what's going to happen next. That way, there is a better chance that we won't turn the TV off, or do something else. They like to announce the news titles and then have commercials. The (usually juicy) announcements make us want to know more, so we wait and watch the commercials. It all makes sense to me.
Sometimes, in the US, they put the commercials at the end of a program, but just before the ending credits. That is really weird to me. What is exciting about the ending credits? Who actually stays to see that? Ok, some people do, but mainly for movies, and I understand that. But today I was watching an episode of the Simpsons, and the same thing happened. End of the show, commercial break, ending credits. Don't tell me everybody who watches the Simpsons is ready to watch commercials when the show is over, just to see the ending credits. Don't you just want to switch channels when it's over?
Now, I believe that the people who are in charge of planifying commercial breaks know what they do, so there must be a logical reason behind it. Commercials are how channels make money, so I am sure they have thought this over.
If anybody can explain the reasons behind the "before the ending credits" commercials, then they are welcome to write a comment to enlighten me.


En Francais:
A la tele aux Etats-unis, ils mettent des pubs entre la fin d'un programme et le generique de fin, et mine de rien ca me tarabuste cette histoire. En general ils mettent des pubs pile au moment ou on attend la suite, genre en plein moment de suspense, juste la ou on est super accroches a notre tele, vous savez, en plein milieu d'un film, au moment ou le meurtrier s'apprete a poignarder Kelly dans le dos. La, ils sont surs qu'on bien va mater les pubs, qu'on va pas decoller du fauteuil, non, pas de pause pipi, rien. Au pire on prevoit le coup, on met des couches Pampers, mais on ne bouge pas son cul du fauteuil, nom de Dieu! Manquerait plus qu'on loupe la scene d'horreur, non mais!
Mais bon, quand le film il est fini, on a droit a des pubs, mais AVANT le generique de fin. Mais pourquoi au fait? Ben ouais, on s'en tape un peu du generique de fin entre nous, non? Certes au cinema y'a toujours quelques gens zeles qui attendent jusqu'a la derniere seconde avant de partir. Si, si, y'a des perfectionnistes, qui lisent TOUT. Il leur faut savoir le nom des bruiteurs, des societes de production, du perchiste stagiaire s'il le faut. Si, si, c'est important. Et puis au prix ou sont les places de cinema de nos jours, on aurait bien tort de se priver du spectacle.
Bon ok, pour le cinema et les films, passe encore.
Mais a la tele, pour des emissions comme Jeopardy, vous n'allez quand-meme pas me faire croire qu'il y a des gens qui se tapent le generique de fin quand-meme? Jeopardy! Non, moi j'y crois pas.
Reste ma question en suspens. Pourquoi donc nos chers techniciens audio-visuels, et publicitaires, s'accordent-ils a mettre des pubs a la fin des emissions tele, avant le generique? Aucune raison de rester devant sa tele a ce moment-la! Aucune raison d'attendre les pubs pour ce grand moment de tele que represente le generique de fin!
Pourtant, les enjeux financiers se jouent au moment des pubs. Dieu sait que le placement des pubs a la tele n'est pas le fruit du hasard. Il existe certainement des strategies de marketting dont les rouages echappent a mon intelligence (cela doit-etre tres complexe, David Brent, je te salue...).
J'en appelle donc a vous, chers lecteurs, afin de m'eclairer sur ce mystere qui me laisse pantois.

vendredi 1 juin 2007

Sweet and sweeter

Today I saw what I believe to be one of the stupidest food items I have ever seen. It was a drink, consisting of coke and ice cream. Coke and ice-cream! What kind of wicked moron thought this up in the first place, I don't know, but it had to be some sort of deviant or something. I imagine the inventor of such a mostrosity think: "Hmmm, let's take a super sweet unhealthy drink, sure that's bad, but I'm gonna make it WORSE, and mix it with something that's just a sweet and unhealthy...ICE-CREAM! Yay! Now THAT's gonna make people super fat and kids super diabetic, great!"
You're too skinny and you want to get fat? Your cholesterol is too low? Don't worry, frosty float is your best friend.
I don't really understand how people can indulge in that kind of crap. And I'm not even an anti-fast food kind of guy. I actually like going to fast food places once in a while. But man, this frosty thing, that' s beyond me.